Actual Words spoken by our Narcissistic Abusers:
"That guy would lie if the truth would save his neck." (anon)
"I'm right back at the centre of attention - where I belong!"
"I am beyond reproach".
"I would feel no different if I lost my mom or if I lost a pencil."
"I'll get rid of you like a piece on a chessboard when I decide you aren't valuable to me anymore."
"Greed is good."
"I'm a taker, not a giver."
"I'm hollow inside."
"I want you to put me on a pedestal and worship me no matter what I do."
"I want her in the gutter."
"N showing off 3 month-old twins: "I'd have brought the other one to show you, but he's just the same."
I remember the words of my ex about our son... "It's mine." when I went for custody.
"I did it because I can."
"It's all about me now. I don't care about you or what the kids want or what they need."
N father to his family: "I am the center of my universe and you are all satellites orbiting me. Remember your place and act accordingly!"
"I don't care if you have been sitting in traffic all this time because of a wreck on the interstate! I've been sitting here waiting for you for 2 hrs! You have no regard for me!"
"How many times do I have to tell you we don't have the money to buy the boys summer clothes and shoes that fit because I just spent $16,000 on my new Harley Davidson!"
"He told me after we broke up that if i ever told anyone what happened he would sue me for slander because, as his father taught him, his reputation is more important than the truth."
"If you are not on the train to reach MY goals then I want you off."
"it's ok to cheat as long as no one finds out."
"When you cheat on your spouse in your marriage which always happens since it is impossible to stay faithful to one person for life...if you get caught...remember....DENY DENY DENY!!"
"You'll never find anybody as good as me. You could never replace me. Men like me only come once in a lifetime."
"I tell you things on a need-to-know basis. If I think you need to know, I'll tell you."
"You've got ugly toes. Look how pretty mine are."
"Well, I may have created this mess, but I do not have to live in it."
"When people say I'm in love with myself I just shrug my shoulders and say "Who wouldn't be."
"I was born at the wrong time. I was supposed to be her in the day when men killed for honor-when you could have as many wives as you wanted and they all listened to you."
"I cannot even pass a mirror without wearing sunglasses otherwise I would get too dazzled by my own appearance."
"I dont like the idea of you divorcing me for adultery, can't you call it something else?"
"If you ever cheated on me, you would cease to exist".
"If you divorce me, I'll burn the house down. That's fair."
"My work here is finished." It's time for me to move on and save another poor woman. And you're being selfish to try to keep me here"
"People only stay in my life temporarily. By the time they find out about me, I've already gotten what I want anyway."
"I am not special or entitled, I merely ask to be treated the same as any other great man."
"I am perfect."
"I am entitled to the best."
"I am never going to grow up."
"Your life is SO much better with ME in it."
"You aren't allowed to get mad."
We were riding for two hours in a car and I was crying for the entire drive because I was unhappy. Instead of stopping the car or just asking what was wrong with me (I almost drowned in my own tears) he waited to the point when we got home and then said: "So what are you so [censored] happy about? Not a [censored] word for two hours! Now that was a fun ride for ME!"
"How you feel doesn't matter."
"I tell you lies to make you happy."
"If it's free, it's for me!"
"Get them while they're sick."
"Well, what's in it for me."
"it's not fun anymore going out with other women now that you're gone."
Member 1 About a year after we got married he said "When did we get married?" About 2 years after that "Are we still married?"
Member 2 I have a similar story. I drove about 13 hours so my N could sign our divorce papers. While he was signing he said "I thought we were already divorced."
"You care about me more than I care about you."
"She did not want to marry me because I told her I only wanted to live with her 2 days of the week."
"You have to anticipate what I want."
"A good wife would anticipate my needs - what I need in life and what I need from WalMart."
"Make a list of what you want back and I will decide what you can have."
"Your friends are all crazy, why don't they like me?"
"People are interchangeable."
On my wanting to continue the graduate program I was in when we met... "I don't know if you can, it hasn't been told to me yet".
"You are always supposed to be trying to get my mood up."
"I don't have orgasms with you because I don't want you to get the wrong idea about our relationship. I am still sexually attracted to you."
"I'm telling you I switch back to the personality you fell in love with."
"I cheated on you because I was depressed and I was punishing myself."
"After supporting my N ex for over 10 years while he went to undergraduate and medical school several years later he said.
"I lied - I did not forget it was Valentines Day, I thought about it and decided you did not deserve anything".
"What have you done for me lately?"
One night during another one of our arguments, I said to my N husband...."Do you stop to think or ever care about what I want in this marriage? He replied, "no and it doesn't even bother me that I don't."
"If people are stupid enough to let me run all over them I'm gonna take advantage."
N - to slow cars in front of him "Why don't they go faster? Don't they know who I AM?"
At Valentine's Day dinner he said "You know, I'm not obligated to do this for you."
When the marriage counselor shouted to my N husband "How could you DO this, THIS horrible thing to your wife?" he answered, "Um, well, um because she is DISPOSABLE to me and she pissed me off."
Immediately following our wedding ceremony he whispers in my ear, "Now I own you."
After being intimate, my N would stay up with the night light on reading a magazine. As I was laying there, if I asked him a question, he would say with an abusive tone “Shut up and go to sleep”. It didn’t matter what the question was. It was his time now to read.
"He made me throw cold water on him when he was sleeping."
"While looking for a screw driver in my husband's toolbox, loe and behold, I open this one drawer and it is filled to the brim with condems, all different colors. NH, (a prosecutor) said he found them at a defendent's house and said "I found them there and they looked so pretty and they looked just like candy and I couldn't resist grabbing a whole bunch."
"I love pulling one over on someone."
"I belong in a country where women kneel at your side on the floor, speak only when spoken to, AND will wash your feet."
On the other woman he was leaving me for:
"For God's sake have some compassion-she works with retarded people".
"Paying child support is like buying oats for a dead horse."
"I don't get mad, I get even. I am the Master Manipulator."
"Could you call the font makers and ask them why they didn't make the hyphen longer in Helvetica?"
"Better to be a shitty neighbour than live next to one."
"I know I am a superior person."
"I'd go to counselling with her, but she won't listen to me."
"When he told me he wanted a divorce "I need to be with someone less powerful."
"I would really like to give you my phone
number so you can call me whenever I want you to!"
"You can't have my cell phone number because it's private, but I'll need yours so I can check up where you are at any time."
"Well, that's enough talk about me. What do you think about me?"
"All I want is to be adored, is that so wrong?"
"I'm not like other normal people, I dont feel pain guilt or any other feelings. I'm dead inside so don't ask me for anything other than what you see."
"I have two faces, one I let others see, the other I dont."
"N said proudly "There should be a disease named after ME!"
"I won't pay child support this month because I just bought plane tickets for my vacation."
Frequently: "Its all about me." and "You misunderstood, that's not what I meant!
"I just need to get you here so you can be under my control again."
When he was mad he says with an English accent- "You underestimate my powers. You don't understand who you're dealing with."
Infrequently, usually with a wink and sparkly eyes "Well, it's not all about me all the time."
"I know I said we wouldnt give gifts to each other this Christmas, but I meant I wouldnt be getting you one, not that you shouldnt get me one!!"
"I cant help lying, it just comes naturally!"
"You make me lie to you, you get upset if I tell the truth"
"I always tell the truth. The truth just constantly shifts..."
"Why did you believe me? You know I tell lies!"
"A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it."
"I wasn't lying, I just wasn't telling the truth."
"The truth, you couldn't handle the truth!"
"I'm good at acting."
"Do whatever you want to do to whomever you want. Just don't leave any bruises."
"Would it be so bad for people to know we have a relationship? You should be happy you got to ride in a Cadillac."
"I mean, come on, do you honestly think I would do something that wasn't in my own best interest?"
"I love to mess with people's minds. I'm messing with you right now and you don't even know it"
"If you trust me, then I have to work really hard all the time at being honest. It's just too much work."
"If it weren't for you, we could get along."
"When we started dating he commented that I was “geographically unsuited”, knowing full well that I was aware that the woman he dated before me, lived just down the road from him."
"When the relationship seemed so good but was going no where and I asked ‘what now, where to from here?’ he replied 'When you find out what a bastard I am you will leave me just like everyone else.' "
"When I was pretending to take a video of him, drunk and making a fool of himself, he looked at me with fire and such hatred in his eyes. I asked him 'what are you thinking?’ he said 'how I would like to rip your heart out!'"
"I just want you to know something - ALL men have affairs, only some get caught!"
"All men go to strip clubs, but I don’t."
"If I was naked with another woman, I would deny I was having an affair."
"No one tells me what to do least of all you."
"A women’s job is to serve her man. 'Cause if you don’t someone else will."